Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Telling myself "this can always be deleted"

That is something that's very hard for me to do. I am not the kind of person who can sit down at a computer and just start typing (as I am doing now. NOTE: I feel very very uncomfortable right now) believing that I am free to type any ridiculous, nonsensical, or even obscene phrase that comes to mind. Instead, I am the kind of person, or maybe just a person, who would stare at a blank screen for hours, stomach in knots, nails bitten off, unable to write a paper before the day before it was due, and by day before it was due I mean beginning at 11 p.m. and not sleeping until after turning it in the next day. And I can honestly say this is not because I am unmotivated, or a slacker, or even a tiny bit lazy. I am simply a perfectionist with substantially low self-esteem, realizing I am incredibly imperfect.

This, of course, holds true in the realm of blogging as well. So in my first post, I promise you (and myself) absolutely nothing. No blog mission, vision, or goals. Basically this is an experiment to force myself outside of my comfort zone, which currently consists of scribbling random thoughts into my notebook and shoving it back under my bed so that no one could ever possibly read it. (That sounds very 10-year-old girlish.) Stay tuned.


e. lizabeth said...

yay!!!!!! i love this and you and your nonsensical, random and some times obscene self. i can't wait to read more.

love :)

Matt said...

I really had fun reading these. I think your a great writer, especially in your non-sensical ways. Please write some more, i'd love to hear more from ya =)

About Me

I'm just figuring things out.