A collection of random thoughts on summertime approaching

1. Friend weddings. I'm getting old and it's getting warm when there are friend weddings.

2. Conan's coming back and it's about damn time. WHY did you leave us for so long with nothing but the comic failures of Jimmy Fallon?

3. Please don't ask me again if I'm "ready for swimsuit season." Does eating a whole bag of cheese puffs while I watch 4 consecutive hours of Bravo look like I'm ready for swimsuit season? I have new cellulite in places I didn't even know it was possible to have cellulite and haven't been tanning in months. Time to buy a one-piece. Or mom-skirt.

4. Innsbrook! Yay!

5. Little broseph's baseball games. It's about time we mold him into a fine young athlete in hopes that he gets a college scholarship for baseball (because he def won't be getting one for anything else.)

Dear Anonymous,

Sometimes I miss you, and hate myself for missing you. I wish things could have turned out differently, but they didn't. No one will ever come close to understanding me the way you did. This is both a good and a bad thing, and it also drives me absolutely crazy with frustration and confusion. Please let this suffice as a response for now.

Thoughts on the Season 5 Lost Finale

1. That was a very impressive, large statue.

2. Ok, so we still don't know who the eff Jacob is?

3. John Locke (or imposter John Locke, whatever that was about?) has gross man boobs.

4. How sexy were Jack and Sawyer when they were beating the shit out of each other?

5. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when Juliet was letting go of Sawyer's hand. Oh, but then I knew to laugh when she survived that fall and detonated the bomb.

6. Good thing next season is the last. (I hate to say it, but they should've let it go after season 2 or 3 while it was still in its prime.). But maybe we'll finally find out what the black monster smoke is or why the polar bears were so overgrown?

Bad Dream

I had a horrible dream about you last night.
Your fat body was crushing me 

and I couldn't get away from your old-man aftershave/sweat smell.

It made me feel sick inside 

and even more sick when I woke up 

because it was one of those dreams where you suspect it might've been real 

but talk yourself into believing that it wasn't.
I don't have to talk myself into believing the regret I feel, though.

That's very real. 

And if you knew you were still haunting me,

your happiness surrounding the situation would be even more real

and equally as sick

as I feel.